Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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