Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
