I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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