I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
