I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im holly from the hills drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
