Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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