Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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