you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
