I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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