We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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