tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No stitches, just platelets and will power
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
