tonight lets celebrate not being married
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
