i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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