I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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