SEEEEXXX PLEASE
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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