i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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