Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
