We are two peas in an std pod
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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