I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
