My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
