Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
