And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize