need another drink. this is the easiest way
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
