I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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