You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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