I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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