I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
