I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
