i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
