Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
