whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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