Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just invented taco cereal.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
