Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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