he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
