so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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