so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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