ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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