I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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