I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
