Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's so Britney 2007, you know?