Pants 0. Shit 1.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
