first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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