Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
