Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
