I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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