I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The uberlube is also flammable
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
