1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
