What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
