Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
