i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
