So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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