We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
