dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
