No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
