So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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