Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
