wat bout pragnant strippers??
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
