its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
